Where Have I Been? 2/18/23 Update
Hello! It’s been a long time since I posted here, but I have a very good reason for that. In fact, four reasons. One is I’ve been trying to build up my private therapy practice. Two, I’ve been working on a new book. Three, I started a part-time job last spring. And four, I had a health scare and had to re-group.
I opened up my practice last March. I think I’ve mentioned it here on this blog – I am a therapist by day and a writer by night. I offer individual counseling sessions three days a week for those dealing with grief and loss issues and twice a month, I run a support group. And to complicate my life even more, I operate my practice at two locations. Luckily, one of them is less than a half mile from my house so the commute isn’t terrible. :) On top of all this, I started a podcast about grief called “This Thing Called Grief: Navigating Life After Loss.” I’m trying to be consistent by focusing on one thing, and grief is it. If you care to listen, head to Spotify or Apple.
Reason Two, the book. I had started this project in 2021. I finally finished it last year and I sent it off to two beta readers for their input. That took a few months after which I incorporated their suggestions and had it edited. Then, I looked for a publisher and after an extensive search, I found a few to pitch the manuscript to. One of them, Arabelle Publishing, notified me this week that they’re taking it on. Expect Writing Through Your Grief to hit the shelves later this year. I am excited about this journey as well as anxious and scared. My last book was entirely self-published so I have no idea how the process will work with a traditional publisher. So far, in the few short days that I’ve been in this process, it’s been a smooth ride.
Then, the job. In the midst of the business building, book writing, editing, and searching for a publisher, I decided to take a part-time job working for a nonprofit, thinking that I had the energy and the time to do a wonderful job while helping others. I also needed some funds to pay for the expenses of a new business. Let’s face it, when you have two kids still in college and a mother to take care of, discretionary income becomes non-existent. So, off to the 9 to 5 I went. It didn’t take long to realize that although I loved the clients and my co-workers, the job and I did not mix. The job took away energy I was devoting to my family, new practice and writing. My stubbornness to stick it out for at least a year wound up hurting me physically, mentally and emotionally. In an effort not to want to disappoint others, I disappointed myself. All the stress led to illness, a general feeling of malaise and another bout of depression, which leads me to the fourth reason.
But first a little bit of a backstory. For the last few years, I’ve been wanting to get a physical. I’ve always put it off because I put everyone else ahead of me and I still have some medical trauma I haven’t processed. My anxiety would hit the roof every time I neared something or somewhere remotely medically related. As a therapist, I am acutely aware of why I have this anxiety, which is really PTSD if you look close enough, but frankly, I was and still am scared to touch it, so I didn’t. Then COVID hit and all hell broke loose for me and 7.5 billion of my neighbors.
Fast forward to about 6 months ago…I started having trouble sleeping and digestive issues. Plus, I always felt anxious, more than I normally do. I just didn’t feel good much of the time and it was harder to get out of bed. I really did think I had diabetes, a thyroid or heart issue, or even the Big C – yes, cancer.
So, I went to the doctor, and not just any kind of doctor, but a functional medicine doctor. In case you don’t much about functional medicine, I strongly encourage you to research this. Unlike doctors oriented around Western medicine, functional medicine doctors are open to alternative methods of healing and take a more holistic approach. Contrary to popular opinion, they are not quacks. They all have medical degrees and quite a few of them worked with Western medicine before making the switch. Anyway…I had blood work done for nearly everything under the sun and my doctor and nutritionist asked me hard but necessary questions about my diet, exercise and stress levels. They listened attentively and treated me like a person. (Insert rant against the medical world here) I am pretty sure I wouldn’t have gotten that at my former PCP. In fact, the last time I was there, they wanted to send me to the ER for dangerously high blood pressure even though I warned them that I have “white coat syndrome” due to medical trauma. And I am positive that I would have been put on a bunch of prescriptions that would probably be more harmful than helpful (I’ve been down that road before with both my parents and some of my kids, so trust me on this).
The health scare led me to discover that yes, I do indeed have some issues. Nothing life-threatening, thank God, but there’s always that potential if I don’t take care of myself. Thanks in part to my genetics, I am in the high-risk category for a good number of ailments that can be mitigated to some extent if I follow a strict diet and exercise regularly. I also need to take some “rocks out of my stress bucket,” as my doctor says (I have his permission to use that phrase with my clients, ha ha). So, I took a huge one out – I quit my job. Another rock was the amount of marketing and networking I must do to promote my business. So, I became pickier with my strategies. I also am being way more proactive with my self-care by resting and only doing things I enjoy.
All that to say – I’m back! Life has been rocky yet interesting, and I’m ready to make the new year my healthiest one yet in all areas of my life. I’m also ready to post more regularly on here. I may not have something new every week, but I won’t be waiting another nine months to post.
Happy Belated New Year!
