On the Procrastination Road Again
A few weeks ago, I began writing my third book. And the process has already become a slog.
For the last two years, I’ve been procrastinating this project because I knew it would be a difficult one. At first, I blamed COVID, then a job change, then a family move, then something else and then another something else. It was easy to find reasons.
But about a month ago, I felt in my soul an itch that needed to be scratched. I had to start this book. I had put it on my yearly to-do list and if I was going to keep on task, I had to start writing now. So, I started a few pages and then stopped. I took a trip, which was planned by the way, and attempted to write some more while on vacation. I was minimally successful. And now, I’m back home staring at my laptop with no desire to pick up where I left off.
Why has writing become such a chore for me lately?
I can think of a few reasons. Well, I’m writing about something that I haven’t before – spirituality and grief. I’m writing passages that require a ton of introspection, inspiration and thought, and the exploration exhausts me.
Another reason is Imposter Syndrome has entered the room. Who am I to take on this project? I’m not a theologian. And I’m certainly not a preacher. What do I have to offer in this space? I’m not sure but I hope to find out.
A third reason is the impending doom I feel knowing I will have to look for a home for this book. And don’t get me started about the marketing process. Ugh!!
And the last reason is that good ol’ fear of failure. What if nobody reads my book? What if everybody (well, maybe not everybody) reads it and doesn’t like it? As someone who identifies as a highly sensitive and responsive person, my tolerance for criticism isn’t very high.
And so, here we are, writing this blog post instead of my book. Blogging can be a fun way to procrastinate. At least I’m writing – or so I tell myself.
Sometimes when you’re following your calling, you will run into obstacles that make you pause and wonder whether the thing you’re following really is your calling. You start to doubt and second-guess yourself. Thus, enters procrastination.
Has this ever happened to you? How did you get yourself going?
Here’s what I’m doing to stir up momentum again:
· Keep my expectations low. I like to keep count of how many pages I write and that worked for my last two projects. This time around, I am letting go of that because it’s causing me undue anxiety. If I only write one page that day, then so be it. I have no real deadline to meet, so there’s no need to rush the writing.
· Schedule time to write. I have two weekdays designated for writing, but they’re not whole days. I cannot see myself glued to a chair to write for several hours on end, but I can imagine spending two to three hours doing it. The shorter stint makes it more doable and thus more likely for me to accomplish.
· Eliminate distractions. I am juggling a lot of balls right now and I get easily distracted. There’s no shortage of things for me to do. However, if I want to finish this book, I must stay focused. For me, that means getting rid of as many distractions as possible. I write in my home office and shut the door. If I can’t write at home, I will go to a coffee shop or library or, if I’m desperate, my therapy office. I say desperate because at my business office, I am surrounded by tasks needing to be done, and that’s the last thing I need to be reminded of while trying to write. I will keep my phone in another room. I will set a goal of writing for 30 minutes and then take a break. And I will continue this pattern for 2 to 3 hours until I’ve had enough.
· Reward myself. Yes, it’s okay to reward yourself. A reward system works just as well for adults as it does for kids. So, I will treat myself for meeting my goal by watching a long-awaited movie or TV show, reading a juicy book, or doing something else that doesn’t involve buying or eating something. As I have no willpower, I try to stay away from food and retail therapy.
· Go on retreat. In a few weeks, I’m going away for three days to recalibrate and possibly get some writing done. I have no expectation of doing any writing, but should inspiration arrive, I will be prepared. I used to go on yearly silent retreats, but I’ve gotten away from that habit because of well…life and COVID. I always return from these getaways feeling refreshed and motivated, so I’m looking forward to this year’s excursion.
I know you may not be able to do what I do, but there is something you can do. Be creative, examine your resources and get curious as you figure things out. How can you continue your project or whatever it is you’re working on? What’s been holding you back? What lies at the bottom of your procrastination?
If you would like to share with me about how you get your motivation back again, email lori@loriapeterswriter.com .
Write & Rise, my friends!
