Writing Through Your Grief: 8 Tips on Handling the Holidays

The holiday season can be one of the toughest periods to handle when you’re grieving. All the attention on family, togetherness, cheer and the like can make feelings of grief acute, especially if it’s your first holiday season without your loved one.

On my Facebook business page, Starfish Resilience Coaching, I’ve been teaching a free class on using writing to handle grief during the holidays. If you haven’t been tuning in, that’s okay for I have a list right here to help you do this.

Step 1: Pause, take a deep breath and accept that the holidays will probably be a rough time for you, especially if they occur right after your loved one’s death.  

Step 1a: Ask yourself two questions: How do I feel about the holidays? How do I want to celebrate the holiday? 

Step 2: Write down all your thoughts and feelings about the holidays and how you want to celebrate them.

Step 3: Make two lists – one lists everything you want to do and the other lists everything you don’t want to do.

Step 4: Consult with others about your plans if necessary. (This may apply if you live with others, like your family.)

Step 5: Take another pause and ask yourself whether you’d be open to starting a new tradition. If so, what would that look like?

Examples: 1. Volunteering at a food bank or soup kitchen on the actual holiday 2. Going away, perhaps to a place you and your loved one had always wanted to travel to  

Step 6: Consider ways to keep their memories alive.

Examples: 1. Journaling about your favorite holiday spent with your deceased loved one. 2. Writing a letter to your loved one. 3. Creating a memory box 4. Using writing prompts such as “My favorite holiday with you was …..” or “I remember when we ….”  

Step 7: Consider where you are faith or spiritual-wise, if you believe in something bigger than yourself, and write a letter to that entity. Grief can bring on all sorts of questions and comments about God, Universe, Source etc.  

Step 8: Write up a plan for next year based upon what happened or didn’t happen this holiday season, what you liked or disliked, etc.