Grief & Writing

Tomorrow (June 16) is my father’s birthday as well as Father’s Day in the U.S. This is not the first time the two observances have collided, but since 2013, they seem more precious to me.

You see, my father, would’ve been 89 tomorrow, but sadly, he is not here to celebrate. He died on January 17, 2013 after a long battle with emphysema. His death rocked my world in significant ways that have shaped me, my life and my writing. In fact, it is accurate to say that I probably would not have this blog, any semblance of this writing life or even my career as a grief counselor had he not died.  

I am riding this wave of grief as I work on my newest book, a grief-related book with faith at its core. As I finished up the first round of edits this morning, I was struck by how far I’ve come in the 11 years since he’s been gone. So much has happened to me and my family. So much I wish I could share with him. As I have a faith belief, I know he’s watching from the Great Beyond. Still, it would’ve been nice to share my work with him in the physical realm.  

Also as I reflect, I wonder what our relationship would’ve been like now. He and I had only begun to reconcile when he died. We had a terrible relationship, marked by abuse, indifference and secrets. There was so much I didn’t know about him and there was so much he didn’t know about me. I wish we had had more time to sort it all out.

When you’ve lost a parent, especially one you didn’t get along with or even hated, days like tomorrow can seem like a cruel slap in the face. Dad wasn’t the father I wanted or needed, but he was still my father nonetheless. He was a part of me and I was a part of him. I have forgiven him and have come to accept that he did the best he could given his trauma and wounding. It wasn’t easy to come to this place in my life where I could have this perspective. It took me over 30 years to get here actually, but I am here at last.  

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Some Updates:  

I have finished Round 1 of edits for Book 3, tentatively entitled Seeking God in My Grief: Prayers, Bible Verses & Meditations for the Journey. The format is very similar to my first book, Be Still & Be Bold, but the emphasis is more on putting God in the center of your grief story. Round 2 will begin soon and I hope to have it ready for further review by the end of summer.  

The pivot into journal coaching continues. I have one more week of class and then I’ll tidy up my website to devote a full page to this new service I’m offering. If you’re curious about this, please feel free to email me at lori@loriapeterswriter.com and we can have a chat about it.

Continue to Write & Rise, friends!